I'm not as Green as I am Cabbage-looking

There were no dreams last night. At least none I remember. I did however wake up in the middle of the night because I got three texts from my friends, all sent simultaneously at 2.15am. This freak act of needing chelle contact at exactly the same moment in time by three friends who are in three very different cities made me feel like some kind of beacon, a focal point of friendship, wit and wisdom. I drifted back into sleep in a fuzzy warm glow of love. And of course I didn't text back the feckers who'd woken me up.

I woke up this morning with no dreams, just the saying 'I'm not as Green as I am Cabbage-looking' ringing in my ears. Don't ask me why. So I checked my phone for the texts, and found that all three texts had been sent at completely different times - they had simply arrived simultaneously. Then I realised perhaps I am more Green than I am Cabbage-looking.

Let me explain...when I was little and I tried to pull a fast one on my mammy, she would turn around and eye me, lift an eyebrow and say 'Y'know, I'm not as Green as I am cabbage-looking'. Now, I was a cute enough wean, but I didn't know what that phrase meant, except that it was a cue for me to sidle out the back door and go play with some sticks or sand or wild animals with sharp teeth.

But now that I is all growed up, it's a saying I'm loving. Something I feel in my bones. Like the other saying 'Laziness is a wild heavy burden'. As I mature and my shawl grows to be tighter fit for my shoulders, and I am thankful for the bonnet trim that shades the glare of the sun from my fading eyes, the ould sayings come to my tongue more easily. Like 'Bidh cluanaidhe i n-deagh-chulaidh', which means 'A good dress often hides a deceiver'. True, o how true! I think, clasping my shawl ever tighter around me. Or 'Bidh ádh air Amadán', which means 'Even a fool has luck'.

I think I might practice spitting, and lamenting the setting of the sun...or else I'm going to write a 'Little Book of Irish Proverbs for Everyday Business Dilemmas' and retire to somewhere warm enough for me to cast off the shawl and go surfing in a bikini.