Spider Massage
This is one of those bright ideas you get at dark o'clock in the morning and you've been wakened unexpectedly: I think it might be possible to train legions of spiders to massage us humans. I can just think of how lovely the massage of really tiny little feet would feel. And lots of tiny little feet. Perhaps hundreds, or even thousands. It would be like fairy feet, only hairier. Or so I imagine.If anyone would like to sponsor me or invest in my spider-massage training academy, please donate cash and compliments to the usual swiss bank account.
Labels: spider massage
posted by Michelle Gallen at
7:54 AM
8 Comments:
Freak
Unique.
aaaaaagh that is just WRONG WRONG WRONG that would be like hell on earth. All tickly and creepy and it would be the most horrible crawling sensation...
And what if they crawl into your mouth and ears and make a little spider colony in your stomach and lay eggs and they burst and your insides burst out of your stomach like in Alien, disgorging lots of baby spiders which would take over the world?? you wouldn't like it then...
Dear Palesa,
My well-trained spiders would not attempt to impregnate you as they performed their gentle yet stimulating massage. They would be PROFESSIONALS.
What is this preoccupation with impregnation anyway? Is there something you'd like to explore further with the appropriate medical body?
Sincerely,
Spider Woman
You can never trust a spider. They are just waiting for an opporunity to crawl into our ears and enslave us with their little whispery, spidery voices. Then they'll take over the whole world and we will be their slaves. All the teeming ranks of humanity reduced to nothing more than a spider's ride. They'll have us detailed. Some might attach spoilers.
Only the resistence will be safe, hidden in our caves with our protective bee-keepers outfits and our trained packs of spider-killing bees. Safe and with lots of honey for our tea!
I'm glad to see you've a plan for when the future happens ;)
i like spiders
I like Moosh :)
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