The 6.99 Boob job and Other Fabulous Adventure

Yeah so I've been thinking (for about the last seven years or so) that my bra size wasn't just right, but I've never done very much about that...I mean, in the last ten years I've been anything from 7.5 stone to 8.5 stone. And through it all I've stuck doggedly to the same bra size I started wearing when I was a fresher in Trinity. 'Sure it fits well enough' I'd think. 'And don't I have a huge bloody collection of this size' I'd think to myself. Be a fortune to throw them out and start again...

But last week a friend of mine got fitted properly for a bra and raved about how fab it was to have a bra that fits, and how fab that makes your boobs look. So off I went to find myself a tape measure and to measure myself up.

So. Calculating your bra size. I remember years ago magazines like Jackie and Blue Jeans used to devote acres of coverage to calculating your bra size. It always seemed to involve a friend measuring you for accuracy, then complicated calculations on a piece of paper, which never seemed to make sense...you know, measure the bit around your rib cage. Then measure the 'fullest' part of your chest. Then if one's an odd number add four. And if it's an even number add five. Then the difference is your cup size.

Holy Frig. I wasn't about to faff around with that system again, so I googled bra calculators...and found this one. I inputted my 3 measurements (apparently you need to know what you are under your oxters too...) and got my bra size in UK, Europe, and the US...

The results surprised me...I thought I needed to go up a cup size or so. But instead it turns out I seem to have made a mistake in my teens with my basic measurement, which has meant I've been wearing the wrong size bra forever...it's not just that my cup size was wrong...but I'd got my actual size wrong. I was wearing 2 cup sizes too small and had got my basic size wrong. I've spent half my adult life wearing The Wrong Bra (wonder will Nick Park make that animation?).

So. What's the difference between wearing The Wrong bra and The Right Bra? It's like having a boob job. Seriously. Oh. My. God. Not only is it more comfortable (funny that). It looks soooooooo much better. I couldn't believe the difference in the shop. And I rushed home and put my new bra on and then put on a red top and strutted up the Ormeau road for lunch in Soul Food, feeling like a woman who's just put on the right-sized bra for the first time in her life. And for anyone who doesn't know how that feels, let me tell you that it feels Good...

So. I took my new boobs out for a walk all day yesterday. They visited my friend JAG's studio, where they looked fabulous in several jackets from her amazing new collection (www.curioustales.com - she's launching her new site and photoshoot soon). They visited the new shiny apple store which is full of reflective surfaces where one might be able to catch a glimpse of one's boobs. Then me and my new cleavage went for a walk along the Lagan, after which we dropped in to see my brother and his girlfriend, where we all enjoyed the Goonies with some people Too Young to quote large chunks of the dialogue 10 seconds before it happened on-screen.

Tell youse. Get bra calculating. It could Change Your Boobs :)