The Stupid Flat is making my Hands Bleed

It's not OK for my flat to make my hands bleed. It's really not. I understand that I'm not using sandpaper or chemicals properly...and this is probably to blame for the condition of my hands, but REALLY! Poor little flayed fingers...my DNA dripping into the Dulux white gloss...skin cells slicking across the ceiling.

Yuck! I wouldn't buy my flat. It's like a great big wound >:(

So I want to have a DIY party. This is my flat warming, decorating and leaving party all in one. The idea is Lots of People come, I get to wear glitter and sparkles and be most entertaining, the Lots of People wield paintbrushes and rub with sandpaper lots better than I do, and I drink. Lots. There are all sorts of bottles containing solventy type liquids, so I'm sure we could add another dimension to the enjoyment factor.

And at the end of it all, I would have a flat that's ready for sale. But maybe not saleable...

WHY IS NOTHING AS SIMPLE AS A BOWL OF RICE KRISPIES WITH TOO MUCH SUGAR ON TOP???