Fabulous New Kitchen Floor

I haven't Bothered My Arse about my kitchen floor for nearly two years. But my friend Tom cam round and made me Get My Arse in Gear. And now instead of an uneven rust-coloured concrete mess, I have a lovely expanse of creamy loveliness (hmmm...doesn't look like a lovely expanse of creamy loveliness in my photo...but I promise you...to the naked eye...or is this how the parents of ugly babies get by???).

Now I have learned how to lay a floor.

Remaining DIY jobs:

- Fix hall light (so can see hand in front of face when entering flat)
- Paint side of bath a different colour (so don't start thinking about mouldy aubergine when sitting on loo)
- Frame pics I have been collecting for a lifetime (so can confront my lack of taste)
- Fix leaking roof (so don't drown when sleeping).

Hmmm. Think I should actually prioritise that list.

Anyway. This is my second creative collaboration with Tom. A previous work was a song called 'I remember Belfast City in the Rare Ould Times', the first line of which is 'Raised on bombs and bullets, teargas all around...'